Cut ties... cut ‘em loose...

When addressing the need to disconnect from relationships that no longer serve our highest good, many people suggest a cord cutting ceremony. A cord cutting ceremony is where you severe the connection(s) within a relationship either through visualization or a symbolic physical ritual that often involves scissors, a knife, or a candle to divide a string or ribbon representing your whole connection.

 While this practice has been very beneficial for some, it never felt appropriate for me. The act of cutting felt too blunt and jarring, but when I found myself in need of spiritual separation from a previous relationship, I was unsure of what to do. 


As many of my spiritual practices have, this came to me when I needed it most. This tool was offered to me by a family-friend and massage therapist, who I had just happened to have a scheduled appointment with immediately following a traumatic experience with an ex-partner. It has proved incredibly useful for my own well-being, and hope it provides a similar experience for you.

Find a quiet place and time where you will not be disturbed, and sit in a comfortable seated position.

As you begin, find a mantra that best encompasses your reasons for discontinuing this connection in a positive way, like “I release this relationship to benefit the highest good of all.” or “I am a vibrant, sentient being whose energy and life path is my own.” Avoid negative words if possible. Let this practice empower you, and remind you of your inner strength and tenacity. 



Now, visualize an old telephone operator booth... with all the cords plugged in, linking everyone. Telephone operators of the past used to constantly be plugging and unplugging phone calls, connecting and disconnecting us. These cords will be used to represent our spiritual and emotional connections with each other.

Now shift your visualization, and imagine those cords energetically extending between you and the other person. Take a deep breath, and when you are ready, visualize yourself reaching forward and disconnecting each cord, one at a time.

I like to begin with a cord that does not have as much emotional or spiritual attachment, so start small. Certain chakra points, such as the sacral (sexual connection), solar plexus (ego), heart (love), and throat (being heard) may be harder depending on the nature of your relationship, so work up to those. In some cases, you can even call upon some sort of higher power for help with some more difficult areas… soul friends, angels, guides, whatever feels best. This higher power does not even have to be defined within any belief system, but rather just be the act of trusting that when you ask for help, it will come.

Don’t be surprised if some heavy emotions arise, and acknowledge them with compassion. Your mantra will help you here with your intention and focus. 

If you begin to be overwhelmed, take a break and do something grounding or detoxing, such as a walk outside, gentle exercise or a Epsom salt bath. Feel free to do this in small segments at time, over the course of multiple visualization meditations. I have been doing a lot of my work with this slower method, and have found it fascinating to compare how my emotional state towards that relationship changes over time.

By the way, this is not a method I would recommend for every situation. For severe problems and abusive relationships, please consult a mental health professional before embarking on this visualization journey. Therapists can be a true blessing and a guiding light through difficult times, and help you realize you are not alone with the challenges that come with being a human in this time on the planet. Build your support system, people. We are all in it together!

I hope this process brings you peace in a time of need, and be for your highest good!

I’ve always considered myself a “light-sleeper”. Growing up, I would be able to fall asleep as long as I had a little quiet and then I was out for the night, for the most part. (Except for that period as a baby were I would ONLY sleep in the car and would require midnight car rides to get back to sleep... sorry Mom and Dad.) Nowadays, it takes a sleep mask, earplugs, a white-noise machine, a extra-strong cup of bedtime tea, pillows for my head/knees/arms... getting a good nights sleep has become far more of an ordeal. However, even with all my tools to fight insomnia, the one thing I can’t shut off is my brain. So what to do to turn off that loud inner dialogue that turns up the volume right when you close your eyes?

“Count sheep to fall asleep” is age-old advice, but why?

By giving the mind something to focus on, you’ll eventually be able to quiet the mind enough to fall asleep.  

Instead of sheep, I realized this was an opportunity to use a mantra to help myself drift into dreamland. A mantra is a word or phrase that carries a powerful meaning, and repeating your mantra creates a single focus for the mind. Mantras are commonly used for meditation because they center the mind and body, allowing you to go inward, and as such, are also wonderful tools for falling asleep.

Depending on what thoughts are racing through my mind each night, I modify my mantra to best suit my needs.

So far, these are some of my favorites:

I am at peace.

I am relaxed.

All is well.

I am getting a good night’s rest.

(Exhale) Release. (Inhale) Peace.

Since beginning this practice, I have been noticing a big difference in how long it takes me to fall asleep, and how rested I feel in the morning!

What are your nightly rituals to fall asleep? Do you use mantras at night?

In need of new meditation technique, I began meditating using a mala I created out of rosewood and rose quartz over a year ago, and found my peace, compassion, and serenity through the mantra Om Mani Padme Om. It worked beautifully, acting as a fantastic touchstone back to serenity from a hectic life... until it didn't.

I don't remember the exact moment, but it no longer seemed to fit. I went through the motions, but that sense of serenity was not the same. I leaned towards other methods of meditation, and soon my mala became more a permanant fixture on my dresser than a meditation tool.

Months passed, and life has been pointing me towards meditating with a mala once again. Images of a multi-shaded, aqua mala began to form in my head, and a little bit of research keyed me into to what my intuition was guiding me towards: an amazonite mala. A soothing stone for inspiring peace, self-esteem, self-discovery, and harmony, Amazonite is also reflective of the bold and powerful warrior women of the ancient Amazonian tribe of Brazil. This crystal seems to really align with the "Do no harm, but take no shit." mentality. Sign me up!

Now for the mantra...

Don't get me wrong, I seriously considered "Do no harm, take no shit." as my official mantra, but my gut said there was a powerful ancient Sanskrit mantra out there waiting for me to find it.

The possibilities of mantras are endless, but here are a few of my favorites from my research:

Om Namah Shivaya : “I honor the divinity within myself” or "I bow to Shiva, the supreme deity of transformation who represents the truest, highest self."

Om Hreem Shreem Hara Hara Swaaha: A mantra to inspire abundance

Om Gum Ganapatayei Namah: "I bow to the elephant-faced deity (Ganesh) who is capable of removing all obstacles. I pray for blessings and protection.”

Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu: "May all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all."

What is your favorite mantra?

Have you ever found yourself stressed, angry, or just unsettled for no apparent reason? The answer may be found in the people around you.

As we interact in our world, we come in contact with a wide range of energies and emotions of those around us. While it is important to witness others and their journeys, we run into discomfort when we (usually unintentionally) beginto take on others energy and emotions as our own.

Finding a way to conscientiously protect myself has made an intense difference in my day-to-day interactions, and while I am still having meaningful, compassionate interactions with people and clients, I am able to remain my own sentient being!

The goal of this visualization exercise is to strengthen the aura, release stress and anxiety, and block negative energy, so let's dive in:

To begin, visualize a bubble formed around you, spurring from the top of your head and wrapping around your feet. Visualize this bubble filling with bright, protective, and loving white light. If you believe in spiritual figures (angels, guardians, guides, etc.), you can visualize this figure adding its own energetic protection to it. As that bubble fills with light, set the intention that you can release energy out through the shield, but nothing can penetrate it unless it serves your highest good. Take a deep breath, bask in the light you just created for yourself, and enjoy your day! As you interact with people, visualize peoples' negativity bouncing off your shield, leaving you unaffected!

Throughout the day, when you feel you need to check back in, practice deep breathing while you re-visualize your bubble filling and strengthening once more.

I cannot recommend this technique enough, peeps! Especially for people who work with the public (or overbearing co-workers) on a daily basis, whether it is sales, customer service, bodywork, energy-healers, anything really. The extra wonderful thing about this visualization practice is that you can do this anywhere, anytime... your commute, your office, grocery-store line, wherever!

Do you have any experiences you can recall where your mood has drastically changed, likely due to taking on an outside energy you came into contact with? Otherwise, do you have a similar routine that helps you remain level-headed around negativity?

Illustration by the talented Gemma Correll

Stressed? Overwhelmed? Overworked? Confused? Depressed? Lost? Is life handing you a general shit-storm of challenges you need to figure out how to tackle lest you find yourself in the looney bin?

Samesies.

In all honesty, life the last few years has been challenging, on absolutely every level. Yet, throughout it all, I can feel myself transforming on every level as well. However, growing pains are aptly named, and there has been one constant that has kept me somewhat sane throughout the life roller-coaster that is your 20’s. #millenialwoes

Meditation.

I know, I know. We are all being bombarded by articles nowadays that are highlighting all of the benefits of meditation, like how it can calm your nervous system. Or how it can improve your connection with your self and your envirnment. Even if the science behind it checks out, maybe it is hard to wrap your head around becoming one of those “hippie-dippie meditating folks”. (I promise, eating kale isn’t a requirement.)

Perhaps many of you have tried to meditate, and “just couldn’t do it.” You sat down on that expensive meditation cushion the woman at the store promised would guarantee enlightenment in 20 minutes or less, and found yourself staring down an endless stream of thoughts, problems, and embarrassing childhood memories (I’m looking at you, teenage Lauren in driver’s ed who shared a Montana story none of the preppy Connecticut students understood, so you were mortified in the way only a teenager can be. So grateful to be carrying around that memory for the last decade instead of something useful #jk #thehumanbrainisweird #idigress).

I have good news. Meditating isn’t only sitting still for 40+ minutes on a cushion, staring at the wall with a blank mind while someone traditionally watches over you to make sure a tiger doesn’t eat you mid-meditation. (Although, if that sounds fantastic, perhaps check out Zen meditation/zazen). Meditation like this can seem extremely challenging to beginning meditators, and if this technique doesn’t float your boat, rest assured there are multiple other ways to meditate that will get you on the right track! Listing every possible meditation technique could fill a pretty hefty book, so in the interest of time I’ll limit it to the top three that have benefited me over the last few years when I have felt spiritually stuck!

Let’s begin with one of the great tools many of us have right at our fingers: technology. Apps such as HeadSpace and Insight timer are all helping people find a bit of peace and a mindful outlook. Guided meditations are a fantastic way to give your brain a direct path while meditating, creating a narrative to focus on instead of allowing your “monkey mind” to take control. Apps and recordings are available for a wide variety of “challenges”, like “Meditations for Stress”, “Guided Meditations for Sleep”, etc., which can be somewhat helpful for those who don’t know where to start. These meditations can be listened to anywhere you can sit and listen, like in the passenger seat of a car, sitting on the subway, on your lunch break, or in bed. There is a wide range of time commitments, so there is no excuse of “not having enough time”! (Take it to the next level: Listen to a yoga nidra recording during savasana or before bed, and prepare to be taken to a whole deeper level of meditation!)

As some of you who follow Blue Lotus may know, another great meditation technique I love to use is singing bowls! Singing bowls can be found in a variety of sizes and materials, including the traditional and centuries-old style of mixed metals, and most recently porcelain and crystal! Singing bowls are said to help clear blockages in the chakras, with each note corresponding to each energy center.

In some traditional buddhist practices, singing bowls are used to signify the beginning and end of a silent practice. I love to use bowls to add ritual to both my meditation and yoga practices. However, listening to and playing the bowls themselves can be highly meditative, and can be a great change of pace for those who get uncomfortable with silent meditation. To try out listening to singing bowls, see if anyone in your area offers any singing bowl meditations, as it is getting more and more popular! Experiencing the bowls in person can induce a sensational, transformative meditation... there is really nothing like it! No local meditation groups you can join? There are many fabulous recordings of singing bowls online, on CDs, and on Spotify. (My current favorite is “Tibet: Nada Himalaya 2” by Deuter)

If you would like to play the bowls in person, that can be wonderful too! Find a bowl that makes your heart sing, and get to playing! I recommend starting with a small Tibetan bowl and going from there! Check out my blog post on how to play Tibetan bowls.

Finally, mantra meditation is one of the simplest ways to incorporate a mindful practice into your life, and I’m confident many of you may already be chanting a mantra, perhaps without even recognizing it. Mantras can be repeated anywhere, anytime. Repeat your mantra aloud or silently whenever you feel you need it, whether that is during your “official meditation time” or even when you feel you need a little boost. I bring up my mantra during especially unpleasant circumstances (like dentist visits or bumper-to-bumper traffic) and I have found my stress levels stay waaaaayyyyy lower.

So what should your mantra be? The short answer: Anything positive! For when I want to feel like a badass meditating yogini, I look for sanskrit mantra to immerse myself in the beautiful language and hopefully have the centuries of ancient wisdom grant me some of that dank guru-level enlightenment....

Okay, perhaps striving for guru-status is a bit much. However, mantra meditation is a great way to set an intention, because as we all know, “where the attention goes, the energy flows.” Tradition dictates for a mantra meditation practice, we repeat our mantra in sequences of 108 times, as many times as needed. Believe me, after 108, 216, or even 324 times, you will definitely be feeling that mantra manifesting some cool-ass shiz!

A mala, which contains 108 beads and a guru bead, is a great way to keep count. Although I am still working on having a consistent meditation practice, wearing my mala around my neck or wrist is a great visual reminder that I am only a quick meditation away from inner peace and a renewed sense of self. Click through to learn more about meditating with a mala, or how to make your own!

Remember, there is no superior way to meditate. The “best” way to meditate is the one that works the best for you at this point in your life. It may shift and change over time, and that is completely normal! If a meditation technique that you have loved for years slowly starts to feel less beneficial, try a few other techniques and see if they “click” for the time being. And remember, it is called a meditation practice, not a meditation perfect!

Now get to meditating, ya hippies. You won’t regret it.