Cut ties... cut ‘em loose...

When addressing the need to disconnect from relationships that no longer serve our highest good, many people suggest a cord cutting ceremony. A cord cutting ceremony is where you severe the connection(s) within a relationship either through visualization or a symbolic physical ritual that often involves scissors, a knife, or a candle to divide a string or ribbon representing your whole connection.

 While this practice has been very beneficial for some, it never felt appropriate for me. The act of cutting felt too blunt and jarring, but when I found myself in need of spiritual separation from a previous relationship, I was unsure of what to do. 


As many of my spiritual practices have, this came to me when I needed it most. This tool was offered to me by a family-friend and massage therapist, who I had just happened to have a scheduled appointment with immediately following a traumatic experience with an ex-partner. It has proved incredibly useful for my own well-being, and hope it provides a similar experience for you.

Find a quiet place and time where you will not be disturbed, and sit in a comfortable seated position.

As you begin, find a mantra that best encompasses your reasons for discontinuing this connection in a positive way, like “I release this relationship to benefit the highest good of all.” or “I am a vibrant, sentient being whose energy and life path is my own.” Avoid negative words if possible. Let this practice empower you, and remind you of your inner strength and tenacity. 



Now, visualize an old telephone operator booth... with all the cords plugged in, linking everyone. Telephone operators of the past used to constantly be plugging and unplugging phone calls, connecting and disconnecting us. These cords will be used to represent our spiritual and emotional connections with each other.

Now shift your visualization, and imagine those cords energetically extending between you and the other person. Take a deep breath, and when you are ready, visualize yourself reaching forward and disconnecting each cord, one at a time.

I like to begin with a cord that does not have as much emotional or spiritual attachment, so start small. Certain chakra points, such as the sacral (sexual connection), solar plexus (ego), heart (love), and throat (being heard) may be harder depending on the nature of your relationship, so work up to those. In some cases, you can even call upon some sort of higher power for help with some more difficult areas… soul friends, angels, guides, whatever feels best. This higher power does not even have to be defined within any belief system, but rather just be the act of trusting that when you ask for help, it will come.

Don’t be surprised if some heavy emotions arise, and acknowledge them with compassion. Your mantra will help you here with your intention and focus. 

If you begin to be overwhelmed, take a break and do something grounding or detoxing, such as a walk outside, gentle exercise or a Epsom salt bath. Feel free to do this in small segments at time, over the course of multiple visualization meditations. I have been doing a lot of my work with this slower method, and have found it fascinating to compare how my emotional state towards that relationship changes over time.

By the way, this is not a method I would recommend for every situation. For severe problems and abusive relationships, please consult a mental health professional before embarking on this visualization journey. Therapists can be a true blessing and a guiding light through difficult times, and help you realize you are not alone with the challenges that come with being a human in this time on the planet. Build your support system, people. We are all in it together!

I hope this process brings you peace in a time of need, and be for your highest good!

"It’s time to be uplifted and liberated to take your next step towards passionate purpose and divine destiny."

Alana Fairchild

When I was younger, my grandmother and I would choose cards from her Angel Card deck and snuggle up to talk about what they could mean. I have always valued the memories of those times, and nowadays, I own a few different decks, including The Goddess Oracle, Animal Medicine Cards, and Wild Kuan Yin. Like tarot, oracle cards are great tools that you can use to find out information and gain insight to situations. For those new to oracle cards, I thought I would give a brief tutorial on how to use them!

Find a time and space where you feel at peace, without outside distractions (cellphones, loud music, television, etc.) I like to use oracle cards before or after meditation, or sometimes I will spread them out on my bed before I go to sleep.

Take the deck in your hands and shuffle while focusing on your intention behind drawing cards... What areas in my life do I need guidance in? What am I not paying attention to? What information am I in need of? The questions can be vague or specific. Although most of the time I ask for general guidance in life, other times I will use a specific spread. My favorite spread is to have three categories I draw for: what guidance do I need in my personal life, what guidance do I need in my romantic life, and what guidance do I need in my work life. Many oracle card books suggest alternate spreads, so feel free to experiment and use ones that work best for you at that time!

Once shuffled and intention decided upon, spread the cards out in front of you face down. To chose a card, there are a variety of techniques. I like to close my eyes, slowly sweep my hand over the cards, and see which ones my hand touches down on. My close friend is a very visual person, so she can which cards she should select just through looking. Another friend has a strong inner compass, and feels directed to the cards she needs. With practice, you will feel your intuition grow and find which technique works best for you. With general questions, and occasionally with spreads, you will find yourself drawn to multiple cards. This is okay! I have found some days I only need one card, others I pick out half a dozen!

Once you have selected your card(s), set the others aside. Turn over what you have selected, and use your reference book (usually included within the deck box) to decode the message. Some information is easier to decode than others, so if you feel puzzled, I like to write down what cards I have drawn and study them for a few days.Other times, I have even texted my friends asking for their interpretations!

If you draw cards often, you might find a certain card pops up more frequently than the others. With The Goddess Oracle deck, I chose Sophia so often that it seems to pop up almost every other drawing! This card is important to you and your life's journey, and likely is information you should always keep in the forefront of your mind. Pay attention!

Oracle cards can be wonderful tools to help you learn more about yourself and guide you when you feel lost, but they can also be a fun thing to do with your friends! On nights-in with friends, we will pour some wine, spread out the cards, and all pick one! It is interesting to see which cards everyone chooses, and gives a little insight!

My favorite oracle card drawing was when I once asked for specific information about the future of a relationship. It wasn't really something I wanted a direct answer for, but curiosity got the best of me... I found myself drawing seven Goddess cards, and when I turned them over, I started laughing. The cards told me to enjoy the amazing present, leave it a mystery, trust in the way of life, and to mind my own dang business! These ladies have some sass!

Do you have any experiences with oracle cards? What was your most powerful reading?